By Perditta O’connor
Joan O’Connor called stumps on a magnificent innings on 21st August, she was 92.
Joan Elizabeth O’Connor was born in Gympie on the fourth of July 1929.
The Fourth of July – That’s American Independence Day – Turkey Day – I doubt there were fireworks the day Joan came into the world, and she was most definitely not a Turkey. Far from it. Perhaps there should have been fireworks because Joan left an indelible mark on the world.
Joan was the second child of George and Elizabeth Pearson. Her eldest sister Laurel and younger brother Don are both deceased. Joan’s younger sister Dawn viewed the live stream of the service from the Gold Coast.
The family moved from Gympie firstly to Maryborough where Joan’s father, George worked in the railway then to Barlil, a tiny town near Murgon. It was here Joan did most of her schooling.
A transfer took the family back to Maryborough where Joan sat her Scholarship Exam. She was an excellent student and her results placed her in the top 10 in the State. Her Mother was keen for her to continue her studies but according to her sister Dawn she would have no part of that.
When the call went out during the war years for girls and women to lend a hand in the Land Army, Joan’s sister Laurel joined up. The minimum age requirement was 17 and at 16 Joan was too young. She convinced her Mother to allow her to put her age up and sign her papers and off she went working on a number of properties across the state.
The Land Army girls worked hard but also had their share of fun. She recently regaled son Neil (Casey) with stories of skinny dipping in the Burdekin River during lunch breaks in the heat of the day.
Eventually Joan found her way to Ballandean. Along with her friend Grace she arrived by train and they were met at the station by Jack O’Connor. She was smitten and it was not long before they were a couple. They married at St Mary’s Catholic Church in Maryborough in 1946. Grace went on to marry another Ballandean farmer, Len Ree and they remained lifelong friends.
Joan and Jack moved onto the farm at Lyra. The O’Connor family was one of the pioneering families of the district. They grew table grapes, stone fruit, and tomatoes. This is no doubt where Joan’s on going love affair with fruit was borne.
Life on the farm at Lyra, that outer suburb of Ballandean was busy. There was always something to be done, planting, pruning, picking, and packing, and Joan was always in the thick of things.
Three Children arrived, in quick succession, Carmel Mary, Michael John and Neil James making life even busier.
There was real excitement when a new tractor was purchased for the farm easing the workload and later a new car which ferried the family in their Sunday best to Mass at the Sacred Heart Church, Lyra.
Although it was a busy household, it was an idyllic time for Carmel, Michael, and Neil (Casey) and later Patty.
In 1958 Joan’s husband Jack began to suffer some health issues, the family moved to a house in Ballandean across the road from where the Ballandean Soccer field and Clubhouse is today. The farm leased to the Stanley family.
Jack managed the Iona Cold Store at Ballandean, while Joan managed the expanding O’Connor brood as first Terrence Joseph and then Catherine Joan arrived.
Despite having six very active and inquisitive children, Joan still managed to find time to play tennis and netball and was involved in the Ballandean School activities and the Ballandean CWA. In fact, she proudly claimed the CWA extension at the Ballandean Hall was her doing.
Sport, especially Cricket played a big part in O’Connor family life. Jack was heavily involved as an administrator and player and Joan was always at games at the Ballandean cricket ground or wherever the games were being played with the children in tow. Some of the older children clearly remember the wonderful afternoon teas provided by Joan and the other women.
Joan taught the four oldest children to catch Crayfish in Accommodation Creek. The younger two underwent their training in Quartpot Creek.
All of Joan’s grandkids and great grandkids have undergone the mandatory O’Connor Crayfish catching course.
Catching yabbies at the Red Bridge later became a ritual reserved for family collectives. In a busy household, special moments were reserved for yabbying.
Ballandean was the centre of O’Connor family’s universe and for Joan it always remained home while the rest of the family to this day are still drawn to the area.
In 1963 as Jack’s health continued to deteriorate, the family made the move to the Big Smoke, Stanthorpe. Granite Street became home but not before the O’Connor’s were farewelled by the Ballandean Community with a “Going Away” Party at the Ballandean Hall.
The Hall was packed. The crowd rivalling the numbers who turned out see the locally made movie the Haunted House when it was screened for the first time. Jack O’Connor was the Star of that movie, but it was Joan who stole the show, chasing Jack down the paddock with broom in hand in the final scene as the credits rolled.
Joan was widowed at 36 when her beloved Jack succumbed to illness – her children aged 3-16. Life for the O’Connor family was forever changed.
Joan picked up where Jack left off. Picking grapes at Mick Wises’. There were lots of laughs and great times with Irish and Peggy Manning – Joan simply found joy in living.
She raised her six children to be the best version of themselves. Very different: very individual, but unmistakably physically an “O’Connor”.
As the children spread their wings, married, moved on, studied or followed a career path, Casey remained close to home. Providing support and or headaches for Joan until her passing.
Catherine likened her Mother to a Chameleon – she could be whatever or whoever you wanted her to be. A truly understanding loving Mother – always there in your hour of need – whatever that looked like. But preferably the birth of a grandchild!
First and foremost, Joan was storyteller. A walking talking archivist of not just people she knew but those she met on buses, at the service station, in the supermarket, picking grapes, nursing with or providing home help to aged frail people who needed her.
If you met Joan, there would always be questions. Who are you? Where do you come from? Do you know such and such? You know they lived in that House and their child is and so it went.
Really this was the essence of Joan – Curious because she cared, Inquisitive because she was smart, Talkative because she was entertaining, Judgemental because she was funny and unafraid because she had she had won so many battles.
Joan was also the original Conservationist before we knew about Greenies.
She loved the great outdoors; she loved the Red Bridge; she loved Quartpot Creek and especially her Granite Street end of the creek.
She loved walking at the Pyramids – knowing the names of the plants and birds were a great source of joy her.
Camping at Girraween the panacea for all life’s ailments. That rock has a spiritual value and connection to all of the O’Connor family. One of Joan’s last car trips was with Catherine and her husband Bob to Girraween – So many stories were shared.
When Joan began working as a Nurse’s aid at Stanthorpe Hospital, she found Nursing was her true happy space. She loved caring for others. She loved working with young ones and being caught up in their lives. She loved belonging to a community of people
She loved delivering babies and people loved to experience her delivering babies.
She was a born nurse and gave it up only when she injured her back.
Joan was also an animal lover – OMG she had dogs, cats, chooks, even a pet pig. She instilled in all the family a love of animals.
More importantly, Joan was also the original feminist. As a widow, she was independent, resilient and most of all proud.
Don’t offer her sympathy or actually even kindness as she would misinterpret this as being condescending. She demonstrated and realised what a true feminist could do.
She always looked at opportunities, possibilities and could not contemplate help. So, she chopped wood when she had to, cooked meals, juggled motherhood and grand-motherhood.
She was also a straight shooter – she definitely could call a spade a shovel, but these conversations were reserved for family; more specifically her six children.
“You can’t wear that colour; You are putting on a lot of weight; Your hair doesn’t suit you etc etc.”
Positive reinforcement was not part of Joan’s parenting artillery, but it didn’t seem to dent the egos of her children who are very resilient and confident in themselves.
She became their true north for the honest feedback that no one else would have the courage to give them. Lessons were learned, improvements made, and they all went back for more feedback year after year.
Joan was smart and valued education and indeed lifelong learning. People were judged according to their intelligence. A trip in the car became a history or geography lesson or quiz for every grandchild who travelled in a car with her. Her own education became the basis for many curly history and geography questions. You learnt the name of the river and the spelling PIONEER – Pioneer River was a favourite.
Joan also had a love of Politics. Gough Whitlam was her original hero, closely followed by Bob Hawke, Paul Keating, then Anna Bligh and Julia Gillard.
She spent many afternoons watching parliament being live streamed and could keep up with any current topic or policy being advanced by her Labour Party. The party that represented the battler, and she saw herself in the antiestablishment party.
Her Political ideals led to her children all having great debating skills as the divide of the party faithful was splintered by Liberal Party ideals.
The Church was the constant epicentre of her life. It represented her faith, her family, her community and her identity.
Many weddings, christenings and funerals were held at St Joseph’s. The O’Connor family had their own pew and Joan was never prouder than when family members would return and accompany her to Mass.
The ultimate compliment for the O’Connor matriarch – a woman who asked for so little and gave so much.
Joan’s greatest accomplishment was definitely her family their success and their happiness. She is survived by her six children, 15 grandchildren and 20 great grandchildren
I did not choose my mother,
Yet had that been mine to do,
And worlds of mothers I had met,
My choice would still be you.
